


Forget How Lonely Feels

by CycloneRachel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Gen, Light Angst, Morally Ambiguous Lena Luthor, More or less Canon Compliant, One Shot, POV Alternating, Season 4 Spoilers, Supergirl (TV 2015) Season 5, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 15:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20996993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CycloneRachel/pseuds/CycloneRachel
Summary: "Load 3.17.""Yes, Ms. Luthor."~Lena's AI is discovered.





	Forget How Lonely Feels

_“Ms. Luthor.”_ Hope says, once Lena terminates her latest simulation and returns to reality, looking over at the AI who lights up her office. _“Shall I load Simulation 5.01 again?”_

Lena shakes her head.

“No, Hope.”

_“Really? My calculations indicate that you gain the most enjoyment from that one. Especially when you achieve your objective of killing Supergirl, and making her pay for her lies.”_

“Yes. Not that one, right now.”

_“Then who do you wish to take your frustrations out on today? Lex? Morgan Edge? Eve Tessmacher?”_

“As enjoyable as any of those would be… not yet.”

She thinks back to Lex’s words, how he was adamant in insisting every one of her former friends knew. All of them had been in on Kara’s secret, her true identity, while Lena was left blind- just because Kara didn’t think she could trust her? Because she didn’t think she could protect herself?

_Your friends have been lying to you from the start,_ he said while he was bleeding out. _Your boyfriend Jimmy, Alex, J’onn, that little alien runt Brainy…_

_Even your own mother._

_They’ve betrayed you. Every last one._

For a month, she’d focused on Supergirl. She knew that Kara, most of all, was to blame- she’d kept the majority of the secret, done so many things that Lena should have seen, but denied thinking about because there was no way Kara would betray her like that.

But she wasn’t the only one.

“Load 3.17.” Lena answered, finally.

_“Yes, Ms. Luthor.”_

She wasn’t the only one, at all.

~

It was a difficult thing, for Querl, to describe living in the 21st century.

Not just adjusting to its culture, its people, the city in which he (for now) resided. He knew, quite well, how to relate those experiences. Especially to those who were helping him the most, such as Kara and Alex, and to those who he only wished could see such a process, like his Legionnaire friends, and Winn.

It had been over a year since Querl had left the 31st century behind, and he was starting to think it was permanent. It couldn’t be, of course, but the longer he stayed in Supergirl’s present day, the longer he worried, and greater were the odds of his friends losing against Brainiac, and never being able to come back and retrieve him. He still committed everything to memory, however- thinking back, he could easily recall any of his friends, what they meant to him, what they sounded like, what they looked like. But the longer he spent in this time, the more distant they seemed, like he was on a boat sailing into the ocean, and they were on the shore.

(And the closer he was to the event that would change everything, that he wished he could warn Kara about especially… but he knew he could never do that, so it was better for him to help as much as possible, and hope that his presence was enough, despite the worry that coiled, like a snake, around his heart)

In any case, the more complicated thing was conveying how he felt, as a techno-organic being among countless organic structures. He could, much like his deceased relative Indigo, “tap into” any of the electronics in the city, even if traveling through them, due to his organic side, was impossible- such was how he quickly became known for his skills with computers at the DEO. But of course that was also dependent on how sophisticated the object was. If it were just another computer, or one of the devices he likened to Kara’s Kelex service droid in the Fortress of Solitude, he may not be inclined to do so. However, were it another AI, as unlikely as that may be in this time…

Such as the one that he’d detected recently.

The one, as he traced it back to its source, that belonged to Lena Luthor.

For that one, perhaps, he could do much more than just communicate with it. All he needed was time… especially to figure out what to say to her.

~

“You think you’re so smart.” Lena says, voice half coming out a snarl as she confronts Brainiac 5. They’re on a ship Lena still doesn’t know the origin of-

(_Nobody used to tell me anything,_ she reflects. _They just expected me to drop everything and come in to help them, no matter what, and nobody even gave me any thanks. It’s a wonder they even let me into the DEO in the first place. Hardly somewhere a Luthor would be trusted in. Just another reminder of how little they really cared-_)

She remembers being questioned, on that day. Accused, as though she was in the wrong for trying to help a friend on her own property, with her own technology- who was the DEO to tell her she was wrong, when all she did was use Kryptonite to contain a Kryptonian? If they had just trusted her, and given her more time…

Well, maybe things might’ve been different. But she couldn’t exactly go back and change them. All she could do was things like this, going back to those moments and saying what she should have said, what she wants to say now with more hindsight.

They’re on the ship (_he called it the Legion cruiser, once, but Legion of what? Where did it come from? Why was it there, at that time, but appeared to leave shortly after? Lena expected she would never get an answer, even from him._)

She’s there, with him, and he’s sitting in his chair, watching her with those cold dark eyes, that haughty look he fixed her with when they first met. She remembers being suspicious of him, wanting to prove him wrong- as she considered him to be just like all the people in her life who told her she couldn’t do things. That she wasn’t smart enough, or good enough, or too much like the rest of her family.

And look where that was getting her now…

~  
“I _am_ smart.” Querl finds himself answering. He’s on the Legion ship again, and that alone nearly takes his breath away, as he wishes he could be on the real thing.

(_How much longer, before he is? He’s not sure- and he knows this isn’t real. But for the moment, it’s close enough, and he takes a moment to calm himself before getting caught up in the atmosphere of his situation._)

“In fact, I am smarter than anyone in the known universe.” He says.

_Even though, this past year, you haven’t shown it as much,_ his mind taunts him. _How much have you shamed yourself, how many times have you been humiliated, just because you try to be more relatable to the people around you? How much of yourself have you lost, in your efforts to be like Winn?_

“Is that so?” Lena answers, raising an eyebrow. “Then I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure out how betrayed I feel.”

“I can understand that.” He says, taking a step forward- but she only takes more steps back, staring at him. “Perhaps this is something you should discuss with Kara? That was her secret to keep, and if anyone knows why it would be kept from you, it’s her.”

“No, I’m not talking about Kara.” She says, and as he stares at her, startled, she pulls him out of his chair. “I mean _you_.”

Querl knows he should’ve put up a fight, but ultimately he can’t bring himself to fight her- so he lets her do it, falling to the ground and watching as she settles into the chair, looking down on him.

“I’ve never lied to you, Lena.” He tells her. But even then his voice sounds hollow, devoid of sincerity to his own ears. Because he may not have directly- but he’s certainly kept things from her, and the guilt from that eats him up with every further second she fixes her gaze on him.

“Oh?” she asks. “So, if that’s true, why did it take so long for you to tell me you aren’t human? Why did Supergirl have to tell me you’re from a thousand years in the future, and that you practically built this ship yourself? Why did I have to find out, from my own image inducer database, that your real name is _Brainiac 5?”_

“That is my title, not my name.” Querl says. “My true name is-“

“Querl Dox.” Lena finishes. “Which I also found out from someone other than you. Did you really think I wouldn’t understand, if you told me you’re a Brainiac?”

“No. It was just that- well, you see-“

“I know, I know, the odds of you changing the future.” Lena says. “But I bet you told Kara, didn’t you? You told the DEO?”

“I did.” He says, for once at a loss for words. Though perhaps, this is to his benefit- less words will better convince Lena that what she’s doing is only a simulation. “But-“

“There’s no difference.” Lena tells him. “I could have kept your secret, Brainiac 5. In fact, I was the one who could’ve most understood you keeping such a secret- my last name is Luthor, after all.”

“I’m aware.” Querl says. “And I should have told you. Especially after I told you I was techno-organic.”

Lena rolls her eyes.

“Well, we can’t go back in time, so stop trying to reverse what you said.” She answers. “And you should have thought about it before keeping your secret from me until now.”

She activates-

_No. That shouldn’t be possible,_ he thinks. _The weapons shouldn’t be able to fire on the ship itself._ Yet here she is, circling him in the chair that should be his, and he hears the command from Lena-

But he pulls himself out before she fires, and finds himself in the real world again, with Alex leaning over him. She places a hand on his shoulder, giving him her best concerned look.

“Brainy?” she says. “Querl? You back with us?”

“I am.” Querl answers, weakly, giving her a shy smile. “But… I’m afraid I just discovered something. Something that deserves further investigation.”

“New technology?” Alex asks.

Querl nods.

“I understand. But… maybe, for your own sake, you could save that until tomorrow? You look pretty tired right now, and I want you to get some rest.”

“Very well.” Querl says. “I will. And I will also give you a full report on what I saw while in-“

“While investigating.” He continues.

Alex pats him on the shoulder, smiling now- seeming more relaxed, knowing he’s going to be alright- though still perhaps concerned. But then again, when wasn’t she?

“Good work, Agent Dox.” She says. “You’re dismissed.”

He gets up, albeit shakily, and she pulls him into a hug- which he accepts gratefully, before walking to his quarters alone.

_Another simulation tomorrow,_ is on his mind. _Another time where I will have to pretend to be just another part of Lena’s virtual reality.  
Another time where she will take her anger out on me, and I must act as though it doesn’t affect me at all._

And as he sits down, on the bed, he realizes he’s crying. Just as he had the first time he was vulnerable, in front of Lena- when he almost lost Kara, and the thought of such was as unbearable as seeing her in that position. Lena had attempted to console him, given him a coping mechanism, even if it ultimately didn’t work for him.

Now, however, she had a new way of dealing with her anger, and it was he who had to try and convince her that it would fail, however difficult that may be.

But first, though, even though this was just as hard…

“Kara?” he asks after he connects with his phone, gets it to contact hers. “We have to talk. And I apologize, for the abruptness of this conversation- but it is about Lena.”

~  
“Terminate.” Lena says, just as Brainy disappears.

_“Yes, Ms. Luthor.”_ Hope answers, obedient as always. Lena looks at her AI with suspicion.

“Did you plan that?” she asks. “To have the target exit the simulation before impact?”

_“No, that was not in my programming.”_ Hope says. _“If it were, you would have killed him many times over.”_

Lena nods, still confused, though she isn’t about to admit that to Hope, of all things. Not after one simulation, which could just be a fluke.

“Very well.” She says. “Goodnight, Hope. We’ll do another session in the morning.”

_“Affirmative. Goodnight, Ms. Luthor.”_

**Author's Note:**

> surprise!
> 
> So I pretty much had to do this? Like, the minute I saw Hope in the season premiere, and recognized that she was voiced by Kari Wahlgren, I knew something involving Hope and Brainy in some way was pretty much inevitable.
> 
> Also I discovered I like writing petty Lena, actually. And of course the Brainy and Alex brotp, that one's my favorite. So, I hope this was okay enough?


End file.
